Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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Whats black and gay? Obama

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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