Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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