(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops