What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk gets in his car and has a terrible crash because he was to intoxicated the end.

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woman's rights

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops