Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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What is the best thing the French ever invent The two piece

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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