What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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