What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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I would very much love to meet you again Erron, call me sometime I do not care how you get my number.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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And now a word from our sponsors

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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