What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Blacks

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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Women.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops