Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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