Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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