A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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HELLO EVERYONE

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Sarah Palin.

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops