how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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