How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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