there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

thumb_up thumb_down -45

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops