What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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I asked her where you were.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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dat shoe shine tho

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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