Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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My spelling is horrible

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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