Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

What's the difference between an elephant and a moscito? There are several differencies. Firstly, the elephant is a mammal and the moscito is an insect.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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