Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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