How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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the blue man livedin the blue house the black man in the black house the white man in the white house but who lived in the white house ,not the white man barack obama

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings? whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 bee stings? No! The holicost Whats worse than the holicost? What? 3 Bee stings

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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