Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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