In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

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one time, a fancy business man walked into a bar. but then he figured out that he wasnt supposed to be there. so he politely apologized to the mortician an and he granted him permission to exit the closet.

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Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

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What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

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