What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Democracy.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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