How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops