What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why dont they make black forks

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

thumb_up thumb_down -8

To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops