What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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