Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What was a hard time for people? the great depression

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

thumb_up thumb_down -14

so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops