Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

Knock knock. Get out!!

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

I'm called the! no i wish am I left

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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