How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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95556

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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