How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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How you know when dislextic

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops