Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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David Cameron

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

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Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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SEX

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops