whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, fruit can't talk.

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

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What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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