What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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