Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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