A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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Golf.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

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Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops