A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Why so serious ?

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Nobody cares maddie!

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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knock knock whos there cops o shit come on they found out about pot lets go

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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