What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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