Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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snowglobe

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops