Q: knok knok A: Im home

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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