A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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