your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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No

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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