what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

What rhymes with milk...milf

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

Knock knock. Get out!!

Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

my penis

What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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