Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

Roses are black Violets are black I'm Helen Keller Everything's black

Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

What's funny about black people? The fact that they are all in prison for not being visible at night time.

How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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what is funnier than 24.....?????? 69. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE ME AND YOUR MAMA

Roses are red.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

Hey can you turn Tmartn upI can't hear him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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