Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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Hey Shea

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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