Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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