What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

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Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops