Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

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Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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