Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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