A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops