What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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WNBA

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on an island. This island is called England, and this situation tends to happen a lot.

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm Hellen Keller.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops