There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

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Actually, Red Bull helps temporarily restore wakefulness when experiencing fatique or drowsiness.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops