How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

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Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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