Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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And now a word from our sponsors

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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Guest what in the butt

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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