What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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Roses are red, violetes are red, I'm colorblind

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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Why do people waste there time writing Anti-Jokes Becuase they enjoy there right to the 1st ammendment and who are we to question it

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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