What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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antijoke is the best website.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops