A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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My spelling is horrible

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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I'm homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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