What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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star wars kid

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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One time i was sitting down

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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