Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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Donald Trump

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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