What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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epic win?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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