What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Rsoes aer rde, voiltes are bule, i have dyslexia. It's not funny.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops