My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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u know whats a crime? rape

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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