How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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Why was the black man fired from the bakery? He didn't work hard and was repeatedly absent

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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Why was the boy adopted........ because hes grandad

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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