every knight i see an owl at window

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

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3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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