How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

read this sentence again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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