What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

thumb_up thumb_down -46

How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -48

The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

cool

thumb_up thumb_down -50

A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Do you play piano? No

thumb_up thumb_down -52

A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

a man was shot.... he died

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops