What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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your mom.

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A young baby died.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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